A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
