Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
