quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
