dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize