Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
