if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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