i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
