God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
