They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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