this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
