he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
