yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize