Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
