Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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