went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
