oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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