I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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