I accidentally burped into my bong.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
