im drinking this country out of the recession.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would fuck him just for his dog
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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