D3 body, D1 cock
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
