We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
