mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize