38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
