i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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