she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Randomize
