I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
