haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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