Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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