Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
nutella sex= disaster
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
