I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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