I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize