I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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