I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I made him laugh his dick is mine
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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