I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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