am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
