how can u be prego again
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
