Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
