"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
