I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
