And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
third nipple confirmed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
