I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
