scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
