I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
