I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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