I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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