I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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