That's intense
she was so not down for the gang bang
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
