I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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