Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
