On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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