P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
