we made out on top of his cat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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