i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
