sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
