shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
