is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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