She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
