A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
