I am puke
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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